If you have been following my blog for a long time, then you probably remember that I started it for the purpose of venting my frustrations about attending a Christian college and living as a closeted atheist in a Lutheran household. My blog was my life story, as shown by my largest blog post-category being Personal Experiences with 28 posts, including my longest post ever, Coming Out to My Sister and Her Husband with 2012 words and my post popular post ever, Coming Out to My Mother, which reached nearly 700 views on the day it was published.
But since the beginning of the summer, I haven’t really talked about my life at all. It’s been all book reviews and random thoughts I’ve had regarding atheism, religion, and related topics. Fascinating and dramatic as it tends to be, I still don’t have any juicy gossip about my life today, but I do have several small life updates that can get you all caught up, if you care to know more about my life that once resembled a soap opera. Here’s what you missed:
- My brother-in-law found my blog in the end of July. At first I panicked, because he said he was going to tell my sister about it. (To this day, I still don’t know if my sister or the rest of my family has been reading my blog posts, but if so . . . hi guys!) If you were wondering why I temporarily made my Twitter private, that’s why. I thought I would have to change my entire blog, but I ended up keeping it the same.
- I’m still living at home and probably will until I get married in November. It’s actually my own choice, though, based on various job-location, job-search, and apartment-search factors. According to my older sisters, my mom had been expecting me to move in with my fiance and wouldn’t have a problem with it (as they said, cohabitation is nothing next to premarital sex and atheism). The most premarital cohabitation there would be wouldn’t be for long.
- I stopped going to church entirely. When I first told my mom, she yelled at me and I thought that we were going to have another “talk”, but the talk never came. I’m still kind of surprised that in the end, quitting church was so easy, but I’m glad. My mom doesn’t even seem to mind. I mean, I’ve been working every Sunday morning since, which isn’t that exciting or fun, but hey—at least I’m not being told I’ll burn in hell for all eternity.
- Speaking of church, I’m not having my wedding at my church, or any church at all. We’re having the ceremony in the reception hall with a secular officiant. My whole family (well, most of it—I’ll get to that momentarily) knows that it’s because we are both atheists, but I’m sure some of our guests will be confused, and possibly even outraged. Too bad it’s none of their business whether we want to get married in a church or not!
- I still have to come out to my dad. He still thinks we are having our ceremony at our church. We could just give our typical excuse (we want it to be short and sweet so we’re having the whole thing at one location), but I figured my own dad should know I’m an atheist sooner or later, so coming out yet again isn’t something I’m looking forward to.
- I’ve been considering coming out on my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts, but I might just do it after my wedding. I don’t need my day to be ruined by relatives and friends telling me how disappointed they are in me. I’d like to come out on social media because I feel strange about seeing my friends posting hateful things about gays and atheists without knowing that one of their own friends is an atheist. I just want an equal opportunity to speak my mind, I suppose.
- I had my wedding shower in my church basement, which wasn’t a problem, although I was slightly irritated at all the Answers in Genesis pamphlets that were sitting out on a table. My fiance tried to throw them in the garbage, but I just hid them under a binder for the duration of the party. I know Ken Ham’s pseudo-scientific claims can practically disprove themselves, but I didn’t need to be responsible for exposing anyone to that nonsense.
- I ordered some The Closet Atheist business cards that I’m thinking of hiding in the atheist books at different bookstores that I visit. Maybe some of you will find them!
- Soon I plan to start a new series in which I respond to some LCMS teachings on creationism and evolution. I doubt anything can be quite as ridiculous as the book I reviewed by Prof Dave, but I guess we’ll find out!
- My fiance and I have something really exciting in the works for this blog coming this winter. It’s too early to give anything away, but it’s coming. Feel free to guess what it is in the comments, though.
So that’s what I’ve been up to in the past few months! It’s been nice to be away from that oppressive college and that ridiculous church, giving me time to focus on bigger and better things.
My guess is that you’re joining the Church of Scientology and The Ayahuasca Healing Church simultaneously. You can give all your wealth to Scientology and rise to new spiritual heights with Mother Ayahuasca. You’ll become Level II in scientology and also become Shamans living in Peru. You’ll have children who will revolt, as teenagers tend to do, and they’ll grow up to be devout Lutheran’s. LOL…it’s an endless timeless cycle.
Well, that’s my best guess.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Ahhh I bet I know, and I ain’t tellin’. If Im wrong, that’s okay. but if Im right, that would spoil the surprise. Im sure we won’t be disappointed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow, when I “came out” to my parents (as an atheist) it prompted them to stop going to church too. I had all these questions they couldn’t answer and it made them wonder if it made sense to keep going to church themselves. One of my questions was: If God made all of us and has a plan for everyone of us, why does he make us believe different things? I grew up in a small town but still there were 15 different denominations of Christianity and even a Mosque if I’m not mistaken. It didn’t make sense to me then, still doesn’t now. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to fear to lose the support of your parents and close friends just for your believes. I hope they will see that you losing your faith is much less awful than them losing you. Congrats on the upcoming wedding and here’s me hoping you’ll get that father-daughter dance!
LikeLiked by 6 people
“I ordered some The Closet Atheist business cards…”
Happy to support your blog and your business however I am able to. 🙂
Thank you for embodying the best in atheism.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s cool to hear all these little updates about your life. Are you really sure at this point that your dad doesn’t know you’re atheist though? I mean you told your mum and sisters right? or do they have nothing to do with dad?
When growing up I always assumed I’d get married in a church since that was the norm, but now I really don’t know where I will have it. Actually I wouldn’t mind getting married in a church building if my wedding was still secular LOL.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I don’t think he does – he’s divorced from my mom and not really as much a part of the group. Sometimes he asks where I’ll go to church when I’m married 😬
LikeLike
oh dear, It does sound as if he’s out of the loop in a lot of ways…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh I see, interesting that. My parents are divorced but my siblings still see both parents; although I must admit things were awkward for quite a while.
LikeLike
oh you are such a tease, sir.
Errr, sorry to be off topic (my apologies to the hostess, but…) my posts seem to have been wiped out on your blog, Ark. Or am I the only one not seeing them?
My email is on my blog, if you want to discuss it.
LikeLike
I’m always afraid of someone in real life discovering my blog; that’s actually kept me pretty guarded even there. I’m glad you kept on. Good for you. Best wishes with your upcoming wedding.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Nobody I know has discovered my blog too, but many people in rl don’t know I’m atheist either, which is the biggest issue for me I guess. To be honest though, I’m getting tired of church friends asking me why I haven’t been at church all the time, perhaps I should just tell them. If they have a problem with me after that, having known me all these years, well that’s their problem.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Exactly. Although I know it is a lot easier said than done! Good luck!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!
LikeLike
I have no idea what can be forthcoming from you guys this winter, but I look forward to it.
This current post works well for putting things into perspective…it also reads like the outline of a novel. :-). What an experience! You have touched the hearts and minds of many people–in a most positive way.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Which happened first: did you embrace atheism before meeting your fiance or did you meet your fiance before embracing atheism?
LikeLike
The atheism cake first! 😁
LikeLike
Hugs to you, keep going strong, and thankfully November’s nearly around the corner! Have fun and glad you’re doing well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting. I knew a man who refused to go to his son’s wedding because it was not a Roman Catholic ceremony in an RC church. It was in a church, but he refused to give his blessing. He justified it till his dying day, but he could never fix the gap he created. No atheism involved.
Atheists go to church weddings all the time. Guess ya gotta have that ‘holier than’ feeling to not go to someone’s wedding.
So, your friends post hate speech? Wow. Good luck with that. I admire your courage, but one can be supportive of atheists and gays and be neither. I think your close friends should get personal attention (not FB or Instagram bombs) so you can soften the blow and sort of get the word out that way.
Not my business, but I think I would tell people that way, although some I have not told (they don’t read blogs or have FB either).
LikeLiked by 3 people
Does the son still consider that man to be his father? I should ask this question also to a boy I know who is in a somewhat similar situation: he recently “confessed” his gayness. A (very Roman Catholic) neighbor of mine, commenting the news, said that, if that boy were his son, he would be welcome to visit him, but without his partner…
.-
LikeLiked by 2 people
I don’t know the son. The father died, but I was told son understood and reconciliation was not a problem. I did talk to dad one time and I think he may have regretted his decision not to attend the wedding.
LikeLiked by 2 people
My in-laws were not church-religious, but my mother in law had never been in a catholic church and was a bit nervous about it, so we had the ceremony in the rectory. It was an amazingly small wedding, which is all I really wanted.
My sense is, if your friends post “hate speech”, maybe they aren’t as much your friends as you think…
LikeLiked by 3 people
This happens a whole lot were I live
A couple of times it is still the same denomination but a different parish
LikeLiked by 1 person
Glad to see you will be sharing more about your life. We’re all excited to see what you have in store and where your journey has taken you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for the update. And best wishes.
I look forward to future blog posts.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’ve discovered that Ken Ham is a secret transvestite and he has an entire collection of French lingerie with T-Rex motifs?
LikeLiked by 6 people