What My Mom Really Thinks of Me

If you were following my story throughout my coming-out experience earlier this year, then you’ll know how stressful it was to have my family accusing me of being delusional because they couldn’t see how anyone could rationally conclude that the Christian god is not real. After I came out to my mom, she took some time to process as well as read a paper I wrote on secular humanism. During this time, she took pages of notes on what she wanted to say to me about the topic. I wrote about that conversation, but recently I found the notes she took, replete with her thoughts about me and the accusations she wanted to make at me in our “open, honest dialogue”. So here are the best of them, and a few of my thoughts (in italics)! Continue reading “What My Mom Really Thinks of Me”

Is Atheism a Choice?

The most stressful part of me becoming an atheist has been my experience hiding my unbelief from my mother, subsequently coming out to her, and having to deal with her reaction. For the most part, she has become defensive and resorted to stubborn remarks and insults that have helped no one.

If you haven’t read my coming out story to my mother up to this point, I would recommend it in order to understand this post. Continue reading “Is Atheism a Choice?”

Coming Out to My Sister and Her Husband

I wrote in January about the events that led up to my untimely coming out conversation with my mother. First, my fiance’s and my “immoral” private life was leaked, which led to my family expecting us to stop and being appalled when we refused to apologize. This ended in me coming out to my mother as an atheist as a way to provide some explanation for why we didn’t play by her Lutheran rules. After talking to her and to my oldest sister, the wife of a pastor, my fiance and I safely assumed that her pastor-husband would have moral qualms, if not strict religious restrictions, from marrying together two dirty sinners such as the two of us, as had been our original plan. We informed him that we had decided to go a more secular way—getting married at our reception hall using a non-pastor officiant—to avoid this cognitive dissonance. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Sister and Her Husband”

Coming Out to My Mother: Part 2

I didn’t plan to come out on January 4th, 2018. It was supposed to happen a year from now. I’d be married and living in my own house with my husband; the wedding would be out of the way after I patiently waited until arriving at adulthood unscathed. There would be a gradual and logical buildup: first I tell my younger sister, then my older sisters and their husbands, and finally my mother. I would take my husband to my mother’s house, we would tell her together, and we would leave her to process the news without us there. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Mother: Part 2”

Coming Out to My Mother: Part 1

When I write on my blog about the whole “struggle of being an atheist in a Christian family” thing, at least in my head, it starts to sound repetitive. Maybe the first time you read a post of mine, you thought, “Wow, that sounds like a difficult and unique situation,” but by now you may be thinking, “Okay, we get it, you’re the ‘Closet Atheist,’ you have to go to church with your family, it’s not the end of the world.” I definitely feel that way sometimes. It’s my story and I tell it so much that I get used to it. But it indirectly influences my life in ways that I can’t shake and is quickly driving a bigger and bigger rift between me and my family. In reality it’s not a joke or a quirky storyline that I can use to get views on my posts. This is my real life and it is a mess. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Mother: Part 1”

Not All Christians Are Bigots

This shouldn’t come at much of a surprise. That being said, lately, it seems as though there are Christians acting not-so-Christian all around me: from my apologetics teacher to the girl I talked about last week. A lot of Christians that I meet and hear from are very closed-off when it comes to people who don’t agree with them. It’s people like them to keep me locked in the closet. In different posts before, I’ve talked about how I determine whether someone would react well if I come out to them and whether or not I’d be comfortable doing it. Continue reading “Not All Christians Are Bigots”

Your God, Not Mine

There are a lot of reasons why I don’t share my name, face, or location here on my blog. In addition to the glaringly obvious, that I’m a closet atheist so no one should know who I am because that would defeat the “closet” part, it’s also because this blog has a lot of raw, personal stories. One of these stories is unfolding right now, and as terrible, personal, and depressing as it is, I decided to share it with 400 strangers who follow my blog. Hooray! Continue reading “Your God, Not Mine”